Can you imagine falling in love after having only one date with a complete stranger? It is a very interesting idea. To be honest, I do believe that it is possible to become emotionally attached after one date and eventually fall in love. We are creatures that crave connections with others. This is how we fall in love - through a deep personal connection.
Think back to the beginning of your relationship with your SO. Did you talk for hours on the phone? Did you feel like you both love the same things, and believe in the same values? Well, the questions that you will see later in this post are supposed to lead to a very deep conversation which is supposed to create (emotional! LOL) intimacy.
This exercise consists of two parts: going through 36 very personal questions, and then attempting to glare into each other's eyes for four minutes. Sounds very scripted, right? In order for this to work, the two people need to be open to sharing personal information about each other. Yes, they will feel extremely vulnerable, but that is the whole point of this exercise. It will help these people foster a connection! Btw, this exercise is based on a research study that was done to explore human closeness. You can read this study HERE if you are interested! :)
Anyway... Let's check out these 36 questions!
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
I am wondering if these questions could be used between already established couples. I mean, after reading these questions, I realized that I never shared some of this information with my husband. So I can only assume that by doing this exercise with a loved one, the intimate connection might appear again.
What do you think? Have you ever heard about this exercise? Would you try it? How would you feel while staring into someone's eyes for four minutes? I have so many questions! Haha! Let's talk! Share your thoughts in comments! :)